Speaking Of Faith this morning is looking at the relationship between the feeling of sadness and the disease of depression. One of the guests points out that as a culture we have pathologized feelings, especially those that we consider to be "bad" feelings. If we don't like having the feeling, then we should get rid of the feeling. We do this by "getting over it." Sometimes we do this by just waiting and sometimes we have to actively suppress the awareness of the feeling, but what we almost never do is to pay attention to the feeling. "Don't dwell on it," we are told.
In contrast, what I tell myself and my clients is to use the feeling. It is important data. Emotions are a more refined form of sensation. If I feel hungry, I know to eat. If I feel sad, I know that I have experienced a loss that I will have to heal from.
The problem is that we don't always know what is causing the feeling. "Is this hunger or is it just the sensation I have when my stomach is empty?" Many of us can't tell the difference because we have always had food available. "Is this depression or is this sadness?" Sometimes we can't tell the difference.
And it becomes especially complicated because there actually is a connection between the two. Depression is the sensation we have when we have been working very hard for a long time to not feel our emotions. When I have many things going on in my life that are generating the feelings of hurt, fear, sadness, anger; and guilt and I have decided (though mostly not consciously) to not be conscious of the feelings; then it takes a huge amount of emotional energy to keep those feelings out of my consciousness. The result of that emotional effort is a complex set of sensations which form the syndrome we call depression.
I want to just add that I am only addressing here the awareness aspects of depression. There is also a set of causal factors that are related to physiology and genetics that give one a hindrance to emotional processing and a tendency for the appearance of depression. This is why it is so important to treat depression with medication when it lingers or is recurring.
So, remember that the thing to do with feelings is to feel them. They are information and we ignore them at our peril. When feelings arise…and they do all the time…feel into them and listen to them and allow them to teach you what they are about and where they are coming from.
